Yesterday, I was officially given a new beginning so to speak, a fresh start. Sadly, an almost 11 year marriage came to end, and not to my own accord, but thankfully, although God allows man free will, He holds the broken hearted so close to His heart. I thank God that He has and is keeping my heart soft. I thank God that He has provided. I thank God that He is speaking forgiveness over and over deeply in my soul.
So, where a family once stood, a new beginning has been BORN. I imagine God is working on this fresh start RIGHT NOW, weaving beauty into our lives and a beautiful future ahead. I’ve never needed greater faith than right now. But, as my lawyer spoke to me the last time I spoke with him–this may be God’s grace. Those words keep echoing in my head. God’s grace. Although parenting alone is challenging, and I find myself on my second year of it…it has its perks. I get to make all the decisions and there is only one chief, so I have a really good picture each day of what is going on in my precious kids’ minds, bodies, and days. I feel as though I have a great influence in their lives and I pray each night God help me each day point them in the right direction and love them well.
I love the peace that I feel in my home now. I love that Jesus is a part of most every conversation in some way..His sacrifice, His love, His ways, His Word. I love that honesty is celebrated and encouraged. I love the softness, the gentleness that is transforming each of us from anxious and hurt to open and free, but learning God’s ways.
Truly, I love my current home! I have so much less housework to accomplish each day and can manage so far to keep up with all the details of these 3 lives. I can see and hear everything they are doing, which is so comforting to a momma. I feel warm, compared to being cold every day in our old home. And although we had sweet neighbors whom I loved, I love my new place and meeting the sweet ladies right next to me, who are alone, and love kids. They look at me longingly to spend time with me and my kiddos and that melts my heart and my kids’ hearts too. I am seeing that God always has a way…a plan of making me and my family feel special. I love people and I love connecting with them….they are each a miracle of life that I feel God uses for His Glory. I love this new beginning of establishing roots here in my apartment complex. It is the 3rd smallest home I have had…my dorm in college shared with 2 other cadets being the smallest, my first apartment in Colorado Springs, where I stayed only a few months being my second. But, it is perfect. I don’t need anything more…well, except a garden! But, even so, I can focus on other endeavors right now that are equally important. I love life and growth…I am seeking some spiritual breakthroughs right now and writing often is a way, partnered with prayer and applying Scripture I read, to enter into those breakthroughs, which for me right now, produce new life and growth.
So, this is my new beginning. Today is Day 1 of my new beginning.
Here’s to my 3 1/2 year old (cannot wait to be 4 year old), 6 1/2 year old (going on 12), and 8 1/2 year old (breaking barriers), my two twin boy kittens, Peter and Paul, who are turning 6 months in 9 days, and are the sweetest, cuddliest, most playful furballs I could hope for, and a space…I feel for a dog at some point perhaps!
I’ve missed writing. Since I will have some time this summer on my own, I am committed to starting my first book. I’m praying about the title for now, but I feel as though I have so much to write about on so many topics…that ideas are flooding from my fingertips when my thoughts delve deep. I’ll keep you posted!