A stilled and quieted soul‚Ķ

A stilled and quiet soul, like a weaned child with it's mother :)
A stilled and quiet soul, like a weaned child with it’s mother ūüôā

I love the picture this verse in Psalms (quite possibly my favorite book in the Bible!!) displays‚Ķ.this verse is so meaningful to me as a mommy of a baby. ¬†This is a picture of TRUST‚Ķof a soul that is not anxious or upset, not chattering before the Lord‚Ķbut is STILL and QUIET in His arms. ¬†This, by God’s grace, describes my sentiment right now. ¬†I think normally my instinct is to chatter‚Ķto pour out my requests‚Ķbut God is teaching me to be still and quiet‚Ķover time. ¬†To trust. ¬†To surrender. ¬†To really trust His heart. ¬†His beautiful heart.

When I am holding Emma, my almost 9 month old and quieting her down to sleep, there is such peace and serenity in her face and body, as she falls limp‚Ķoff into dreamland‚Ķsuch trust for nourishment…for life. ¬†This is the gift God is giving my heart right now‚Ķthe picture of Emma still and quieted‚Ķto show me how He desires ME to be with HIM. ¬†Hannah, my toddler, the more fitting one for this metaphor, is way too busy for me to catch for a photo right now! ¬†ūüôā

When difficulties come, when the heart longs for comfort, HE IS THERE, quieting me, stilling me with His loving, strong arms, asking me to TRUST in WHO He is. ¬†Like a weaned child, I come‚Ķ.I come to Him time after time again. ¬†He always has open arms. ¬†He has our names engraved on His palms‚ĶHe gives us birth, He comforts, sustains, rescues, protects, and nourishes us. ¬†He is “Abba”‚ĶFather. ¬†He is a father and mother‚Ķeven more. ¬†We just can’t fathom all that He is.



A fall season so amazing and so full…

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Lewis' first photo!!! :)
Lewis’ first photo!!! ūüôā

IMG_0654This fall was so precious to me‚Ķso full of counsel, change, growth. ¬†I feel God so near to us right now‚Ķbut often ponder, “why.” ¬†I think it is just who He is. ¬†He is so merciful. ¬†I am so thankful for His presence and everything we are learning about Him. ¬†This assignment has been the “promised land”¬†for us. ¬†I really never want to leave.

Here are some pictures and a bunch of things that God has taught us…in parenting…in marriage…in life.

COUNSEL: In my marriage I have learned to be a reverent wife, to walk by faith in the hard moments, to know that God is enough‚Ķand that my husband is a blessing on top of that, to help restore my husband’s leadership (rather than usurp?!)‚Ķwhen he is struggling‚ĶI have come to see the enemy attack him..and to see the difference that encouragement, compassion, and restoration of HIS leadership makes in our family. ¬†It is SO worth it. ¬†I see what happens if I see the good in my husband, allow the Holy Spirit to convict‚Ķand then watch him grow. ¬†I am delighting in my marriage right now and all that God intended it to be. ¬†Aren’t God’s commands SO good?!!

*In parenting I have learned what happens “If You Give A Mouse a Cookie!” ¬†ūüôā God is teaching us how to be the instrument of self-control in our children’s lives the past few months. ¬†I have learned that “I am not bound” to their struggles‚Ķthat God loves them more than I do‚Ķthat God is a God of Order..and Unity‚ĶHe establishes the order and unity‚Ķand we must maintain it.

*I have loved my Ephesians Study through PWOC‚Ķit is growing me as a member of His body. ¬†I learned to “learn in full submission.” ¬†I learned to submit to God’s design for each relationship in my life. ¬†I learned about God’s desire for His children to be a unifier (maintain His unity).

FREEZING DAYS, HUDDLING NIGHTS: ¬†The kids and I LOVED fall this year. ¬†This Christmas was the most memorable Christmas for our family. ¬†And this winter is turning out to be much more joyful than last winter ūüôā ¬†It started out as freezing days in our home as the heater was delayed (we have central heating)‚Ķand it got cold early here in Kansas (come to think of it, it was -9 degrees out this morning!)‚Ķwe all huddled around the house, and I found myself holding the kids and cuddling them until they fell asleep at nights‚Ķand then bringing Emmy under the covers later for some baby cuddles‚Ķwith her toes and fingers curled into my arms and legs‚Ķoh, I love these moments‚Ķit was so cold though! ¬†We have had colds most of the time this fall and winter‚Ķbut with some antibiotics, we are all finally kicking these colds. ¬†Just this morning, Emmy showed up with an ear infection, and fortunately we were able to make it to the doctor for some medication..at a well baby appt. no less… ¬†I am thankful for medicine..I am thankful for Jehovah Jireh..who is continually healing us.

CHANGE: I sense God giving me more of a strength of mind…although some days it seems my thoughts still cave…I think there are more days where I turn to Him for strength…and focus on Him alone…and think His thoughts…learning to walk in His light.

GROWTH: I see God growing us.  I see Him changing the way we look at things…and calling us to love Him more and show more grace to each other.

Everyday is so different for me the past few months. ¬†I am learning to surrender…

The kids LOVE Cubbies. ¬†Lewis is growing so much and maturing. ¬†Hannah loves to say her verses. ¬†She is so serious compared to Lewis’ silliness‚Ķ(it’s really a bit of an adjustment!)! ¬†She loves the games and crafts. ¬†She loves Jesus.

Here are some pictures of our Flock this fall!

Looking back….beautiful fall!

These pictures remind me of God pressing upon my heart to “stay on the path”‚Ķ.to stay within the limits of each day‚Ķto stay within the limits of the moment‚Ķoftentimes I find information flooding my mind‚Ķmy senses absorbing so much around me‚Ķit is hard to stay focused on the present moment or to stay focused on what God is asking of me. ¬†I think of “pure joy” (Christ) coming into our world of sorrow and staying focused on His mission‚Ķdeath for His great love for us.

This fall, as I went on walks with Emmy, I saw beauty everywhere…one of the most beautiful falls I have ever seen (besides the ones seen in the Smokey Mountains!)…it was amazing.

Here is “THE PATH,” or rather, my walking path, outside our home, and an old trolley lane from the train station (which is the thrift store now), with the buried line running between the trees. ¬†Isn’t God’s creation SO beautiful??

"The Path"…isn't fall beautiful?
“The Path”‚Ķisn’t fall beautiful?


Experiencing Autumn in Kansas

Experiencing Autumn in Kansas
Experiencing Autumn in Kansas

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Wouldn’t you just LOVE to live in that house beneath those trees??? ¬†I love experiencing Autumn here in Kansas. ¬†It is everything I remembered it being and SO MUCH MORE. ¬†The pumpkin patches, the hayrides, the delicious apples, the corn and hay mazes, the wagon rides, the pony rides, the farm animals, the BEAUTIFUL TREES and fields of wheat. ¬†It is TRULY beautiful here. ¬†I had missed all of this so dearly in the Death Valley Desert. ¬†The trees captivate me. ¬†Their colors lie dormant all year, waiting to burst into a glorious display of rich colors before our eyes….As the leaves die, their colors spring to life…simply breathtaking beauty.

Beauty in God’s eyes.

I love the imperfect. ¬†Imperfection is becoming more and more beautiful to me every day. ¬†I love that God is strong in my weakness and imperfection and I love seeing the world through God’s eyes…and when He creates something that “seems” imperfect to the human eye, it is the most beautiful in His eyes.

As I have been going through my days the past week, I have seen a lot of “imperfect” things–people who were made differently than what others would call “normal.” ¬†These moments were my “still” moments, where I heard God powerfully speak to me—either in the moment or afterward–“Be Still and Know That I am God.” ¬†They were more special moments than the others in my day…moments of awe at His creation. ¬†It is the imperfect that draws us subconciously closer to God, because somewhere deep inside we know that we are not at all perfect ourselves, that He still created us beautifully, and that there is something not quite right with our souls longing for perfection in a human way, missing who God really is—HE is perfect, but some things He made might not look symmetrically beautiful the way our eyes see, but they are most beautiful to Him…and should be to us too. ¬†It as if the imperfect people or things draw God out like a magnifying glass….saying HERE I AM—I rest HERE, in the IMPERFECT. ¬†Our imperfection draws out the perfect in God…..and He is glorified.

As a new mommy of 3, I am re-learning God’s ways….I am fully engaged in mommy hood again and loving it. ¬†It is one of the most beautiful, most satisfying things to have realized my God-given calling. ¬†I truly know I am exactly where I am meant to be, where I was created and developed just right for. ¬†I love being a homemaker and mommy……BUT there are many things involved in it that I am just plain not good at! ¬†There is also something deeply sanctifying about having multiple little children! ¬†I am learning to release the mommy guilt, to rest and really trust in the Lord, to develop more patience, long suffering, grace, tolerance, deep love, and to deal with my deep inadequacies in loving my husband and children. ¬†Each day I am faced with the limitations of each day….and faced with the limitations of me–my memory, my two hands, my energy level…everything…people are SO limited!!! ¬†Each morning I wake up, I ask God to help me love them more. ¬†Each day, I have to make thousands of choices to serve God or myself….and I long to make those choices to serve God…but I am faced at the end of each day with how many times I chose to go my own way. ¬†I love learning and truly accepting the fullness of God’s grace though. ¬†It helps me move on and keep laboring in the Lord.

Transitioning to 3 has been MUCH easier than transitioning to 2 for me, although I know there are many different phases and battles ahead. ¬†I can say it is easier, though, because even after waking up nearly every hour of the night last night, I STILL feel it is easier!!! ¬†I’ve been pondering this the past few days and I think it is partially because of circumstance and partially from a deepened faith. ¬†I am so thankful for all the ways God is making this happen for me. ¬†The other day, I was saddened by some of the events of the day, and thinking maybe my big dreaming can get me in trouble sometimes….but yesterday at church, I was encouraged to keep dreaming BIG…in fact, the pastor said, “Do not stop dreaming big with God.” ¬†I began dreaming again…although it can be hard some days to not give up on your dreams…but God keeps me dreaming big and I can’t wait to see what He has in store for us in the future….maybe 5 kids….with twins on the way??? ¬†ūüôā ¬†Don’t tell Brian. ¬†ūüėČ

We’re loving 3 right now and are very content with our new family!!!

Beauty to our family is being redefined right now and we are loving seeing beauty through God’s eyes.