Today, as I went out to the commissary to buy a few things…I felt like I was escaping from a nunnery….this home has been such a beautiful place of rest for me…for so long now…as my strength is returning from having Emma and getting over another sinus cold, I have realized how long it has been since I have felt really well for any considerable amount of time…really almost a year….and how much time I have spent in this home of respite. I have never been a home body…and so God chose to give me a beautiful home here with big, lovely windows to look out and enjoy the view outside, while I spent quite a bit of time inside this home…and with Him. And today, as I escaped from my nunnery, I felt completely bombarded! I got in my car and tried to remember the rules of the road…I went to buy some items and was overwhelmed by the choices to be made…I must consider the price of the item, the necessity, the priority, the freshness, etc…I made it out of the commissary and back into my car and sighed a big sigh of relief! I made it! Back to my nunnery to enjoy cuddles with my sweet little newborn 🙂
I like my nunnery. I don’t particularly like leaving it right now! But, I know these days alone in my home and with God are almost over as Emma reaches her 2 week point today and Brian heads back to school on Monday. It will be an adjustment…and already has been the past two days as Brian’s parents have left, and their overwhelming support and love went home with them 😦 …God told me He was still taking care of me…although it was much harder to see that as I was floundering through my day with just Hannah and Emma. As my strength returns and I get more and more sleep at night, I know I will be able to return to pouring out everything I have to my husband and kids once again. I feel as if I have been away. But, now I am back. And it is hard….I must relearn God’s ways of dealing with the newfound terrible 3’s 🙂 (1-3 was so lovely with Hannah!!!), and a boy that has grown up so fast I can barely recognize him…and a husband that has poured out so much and changed so much too.
I have a new family. And as Brian told me last night as I shed a few tears, “we all will have to make adjustments to all the changes around here…except Emma 🙂 It will be a transition.”