Agonizing pain

One of the most agonizing pains I’ve ever experienced on this earth is not knowing about the salvation of someone I love.

It makes me cringe, it makes me long, it makes me try, and yet still, the choice is in the loved ones’s hands. Ultimately, it is between them and God.

It keeps me up at night, it brings me to my knees in prayer. It makes me plead with God.

Please, Lord, your word says that you and your household WILL be saved.

It’s a hunger and thirst for the salvation of loved ones. I feel Christ’s fervor to bring us home with Him.

I’ve had such good and deep conversations with my kids about heaven and hell, obedience and grace, The fall, our daily fall, …the high standard God has for us. They’ve asked me such great questions, amazing questions throughout their short lives…they’ve challenged me and inspired me in my walk with Jesus.

I see their genuine love for Jesus…it encourages me. I love seeing god Emma always talks about Him as being “Her Jesus.”

I cannot do what my son longs to do as he confessed to me tonight. I cannot give them the childhood that I had, going all over the world. But, what I can give them is a Christian upbringing and hopefully develop roots that grow so deep. To help them see past pretenses into people’s hearts and to show them how to love, serve, and use God’s Word to mend and build up people’s lives.

What are your goals in parenting? I think mine is mainly to develop strong disciples of Christ. And most of the time, when I look at my kids, this is what I see them becoming.

I pray they can make a difference in family members’ lives where I cannot. I know God has preplanned every person’s salvation moment and I highly anticipate it for those I love who still don’t know Christ.

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