Psalm 23- 17-18:
“Surely there is a future and your hope will not be cut off.”
As I sit next to a sweet teacher friend whose last name is Hope…as I wonder how in the world I am going to finish this semester well…and help my sweet kids feel loved during all of this–My heart feels no pleasure, yet my fingers and brain spin night and day. I am not one to publicly throw a pity party, but man is this hard!!
I come home from class to a boy with chills and a fever, who throws up all over his bed as I am tucking him in (under covers I just washed and sheets I just put over his bed in the afternoon). These are the moments where I just want to quit my studies and just be with him…but my studies await, therein lies our future.
I give him Tylenol and re-tuck him in a sleeping bag with a Powerade to hydrate him through the night. I give him a hug and a kiss and I pray he doesn’t have the flu and that God would heal him if he does (and somehow keep me healthy too). We both agree that life can just be the pits sometimes.
I read Proverbs as I already was in tears coming home and certainly didn’t need anything else to make me cry. Honestly, I’m well acquainted with chronic pain right now, but I hope each day it will improve. Jesus comforts me in so many ways, but I still cry out because I need MORE of Him. Proverbs stuck out to me and so I am reminded of Hope tonight. My friend and of Jesus, our true hope.
I read and hear of tragic things happening around me and it warns me to be grateful. I simply cannot be grateful for my circumstances, I tell God, but I can be grateful that I have my children. And That I have Jesus and will spend eternity with Him forever.
I want to know Christ more through His Word. I want to reflect Him more. This is the hardest season of my life and there has been a lot of hard. I know God sees me, I know He hears me, I know my future and hope are not cut off because He tells me so.
I can just share these truths with my kids every day and put one foot in front of the other. I am so glad I have them. (My legs and my kids.)