“The LORD is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.”
This past year and a half has definitely been a winter season for me…starting with the birth of my sweet daughter (I was thinking it was when we arrived at our new duty station, but as I really thought about it the other day, it was when my sweet, but colicky baby girl was born, 3 months prior to our move). A whole series of events happened that were very difficult…and tough things kept coming constantly, all year long. I talked with a sweet friend today about spiritual seasons…and I was sort of looking at them as if I could be in control of them…another words, if I only react the proper way, then this season will END or at least end sooner!!! But, my season wasn’t ending….and I was starting to get frustrated. Lately, it seems as though we might have stepped into a NEW season…and I honestly feel like I am recovering from a very tough period of time.
I have been reflecting back and trying to understand everything that happened and why it was SO hard. Was there something I could have done differently? What went wrong? Why was it so challenging? I keep replaying events, wondering how they could have gone differently, BUT I am left in agreement with my very intuitive friend, who said that we can make our season a little more enjoyable by reacting the way God would want us to…but we cannot control the season itself by what we say or do…it is going to be what God has determined it to be. I was reacting to a lot of things the best way I knew, with the knowledge and understanding I had at the time, but I couldn’t change the series of events that just kept coming. The events perhaps determine the season…but the way we respond perhaps determines how difficult the season is…and perhaps influences the next season or the length of the season…I don’t know…only our Father in Heaven truly knows.
As I saw this verse in church today, it was truly perfect for me. He maketh me lie down in GREEN pastures…not desert, prickly ones!!! He RESTORES my soul. That is what I am feeling this past week…with SO many things looking different than they did just a week ago…God is changing my attitude and heart for sure…but I don’t know about the season just yet 🙂 He is restoring my soul in so many ways…it is overwhelming and beautiful to me how intimate He is. I was feeling an absence of presence for a while, no matter how much I was seeking…and He is pouring out to me once again. I am most thankful. I surely missed Him.