I just cannot believe the job I have! It is incredible to me that I get to take my kids around to do different things together…to learn about them…discover more and more little things about them…to teach them, to help them…to learn from them….and to ENJOY them. I LOVE my job!!!! Some days are so hard and stressful, but many days are so joyful, especially lately. I feel as though my kids are growing up now. There doesn’t seem to be a baby in the house anymore. Hannah is turning 18 months in one week. I cannot believe it! Things are getting easier…but there seems to be a growing hole. It is nice to have more freedom of movement with the kiddos now that Hannah has dropped her morning nap and Lewis has transitioned to being nice to other kids 🙂 It really is SO wonderful! I’ve always felt a bit confined in my home…but at times, especially the last year, felt called to be mostly at home. It was hard, but so worth the effort put into the most important things. So many things in our family called me to be in our home. BUT, now is the time to have freedom of movement…and just as the sun is about to come out more here! It is going to be a BEAUTIFUL summer full of joy.
We also have a DATE!!! FEBRUARY 2012 is our date…whatever that means! We are to go to SCHOOL! We are not sure where…and anything could change…but that is the way Army life goes! We have one more year here…and I hope to focus on making it a GREAT year.
I am EXPECTING GREAT things from the Lord. That what He wants us to do, because He is so worthy of providing them. He doesn’t want us to be in a place of expecting tough or bad things or consumed by Satan’s setbacks or temptations. He wants us to focus on HIM. Life may be challenging, and He may call us to suffer…but He ALWAYS calls us to expect GREAT things from him. The Jabez prayer, Psalm 37:4, and Isaiah 54:2-3 talk about different aspects of expecting great things from the Lord (and asking for them). I know when I start to expect wonderful things from the Lord, wonderful things happen as He delights in giving me the desires of my heart. And also, “So as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”- 23:7 We must focus our thoughts on positive things, expecting great things from the Lord. Philippians 4:8 talks about this too. God will give us the desires of our hearts, as we pray in truth and sincerity. It may be the ability to persevere or overcome one day or beautiful physical blessings another day, BUT He always showers His love on me when I am praying BIG and having GREAT FAITH.
My faith had slowly dampered over the past year. More and more trials from the Enemy came and I was about ready to question a lot of understandings I had of the Lord and His plans for me. He redirected me, comforted me, rebuked me, and assured me of His love. THEN, I forgot how I lived in great faith before. And the Lord reminded me. “Expect great things from me”, He said. And I have…and the past few days have been GLORIOUS. Things are still the same: Much longing, much temptation, much frustration, much waiting, BUT, my attitude was changed and He set a new spirit in me once again.
Getting out and about (but not too much), has helped me stay more focused than being in the home a lot…and has redirected my thoughts to other places, while I wait upon the Lord’s answers to some strong callings upon my heart. Sadness has dissipated, and I am once again focused on His training in obedience for me RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW…no matter how painful or confusing it may be. He will overcome for me…and I will be ready…whenever the time comes.
My heart will always be longing…I hope not for too long….I don’t know how long a heart can be burdened so strongly like this! But, I think He has some intermediate plans (near targets) for us to focus on right now and I am REALLY excited about THAT!!!!!!