I have really identified with the weeping woman a lot here in the desert (Luke 7:36-50). I find myself coming before the Lord in tears nearly everytime I come before Him. I cannot stop the tears. I find myself often at an impass. He is calling me to accept my circumstances and CHANGE. He is refining me and testing me so much. I fear I cannot pass any of His tests….All I can do right now is humble myself before the Almighty God. I have prayed often for humility lately, knowing the prideful thoughts deep down inside me….and He is working so deeply in my heart…into places I don’t even know. It is so painful.
Each day is met with new spiritual attacks…and some old ones…but as I watched in Cinderalla last night with the kids (I love that story!!!)…she was attacked, persecuted, and humbled…she chose to be obedient, kind, trusting, and she didn’t have high expectations. Our God will LAVISH us with dreams beyond our imaginations…but not if we demand it or expect it. This hit home with me last night. I see how high my expectations are…and how all my expectations and all my hope need to be continuously in the Lord…not people, and not my circumstance. It is not going to be a walk in the park here…but it can be FULL OF JOY and FULL OF GRACE. By the time we leave here, I hope to be leaning on Him and having all my joy come from obedience to Him….and no more unglorifying thoughts coming in between the two of us.