“Lift up your eyes on high, and see who has created these things…” (Isaiah 40:26)
“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3)
“They said to Moses, ‘You speak with us, and we will hear; but let not God speak with us, lest we die’.” (Exodus 20:19)
“Samuel answered, ‘Speak for Your servant hears’. ” (1 Samuel 3:10)
“Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops.” (Matthew 10:27)
The Lord is teaching me a lot lately about how to discern His voice and how to listen. I read. I pray. I WANT to hear Him all day long every day…but it has been a battle. I have defaulted to demanding a lot from the Lord again and not being weaned from the spiritual milk…but going back to needing it. Needing a lot of things from Him.
It was a really tough 2 weeks with my husband away again…this time for an intense rotation. Hannah was teething, Lewis was potty training…we were all sick the first week…and exhausted at the end of the second. My husband was a champ…giving everything (despite his exhaustion) when he came back from the field every now and then for short periods of time. I have been drained of everything and my mind is once again in a total fog. I made poor parenting choices…and got stuck in a cycle of bad thoughts….which led to a few days of not hearing the Lord again….it is a vicious cycle, isn’t it? I need Him SOO bad in those moments, but those are the moments when I was overcome with thoughts that are not glorifying to Him. I want Him to save me from them and pray for them to go away…but I choose to dwell when they come back again. It is definitely a battlefield of the mind! And I have come to see the difference is all in those thoughts and choosing to take them captive to Jesus. Does this thought match with what God says (despite the crazy circumstance!!!)?
God showed me to not talk about my times of darkness to other people (else I not hear HIM talking to me!). Darkness is a time to listen and obey….not to talk (else I talk while in a bad mood 😦 )…or find a book to clarify the darkness for me….just to listen and obey. God should be speaking to me…so if He is not…there is something not quite right on my end. My attitude should be that of Samuel, “Speak, for your servant hears.” The goal of my spiritual life is such close identification with Jesus Christ that I will always hear God and know that God always hears me, according to Oswald Chambers 🙂 I want to show God my love and respect to Him by LISTENING so carefully, so still, so attentively….with all my senses and attention to nature, to God’s servants, to whatever God has crossing my path that day. I must turn my thoughts and eyes away from the face of idols and look to Him and be saved (see Isaiah 45:22). God will show me each and every idol, as I pray and seek, and I will be able to turn my eyes to Him and be saved. I long to be a better listener…to God…and others.