Sweet dreams laid down at His feet, to press into Him further.

I wrote this page awhile back on my blog as God was igniting a passion in my heart once again for Africa.  I sought and sought and sought Him with it…and felt often encouraged and prompted to not give up…but the past year, I felt God has slowly and continually asked me to lay it down at His feet—indefinitely, I don’t know, and why, I don’t fully understand, but I do know that as I lay down my passions, my dreams, my longings–at His feet, I am able to really press into who HE is…and not who I am.  I have often thought of myself too much in terms of the excitement and accomplishments (and failures) of my past, and my dreams and longings for the future.  God is redefining my identity and showing me HIS.  My life is not my own and I am letting go of ME, and pursuing more further who I am in Him.  I am pursuing my first and foremost calling right now, to love Him fully, with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength–no matter what my future holds.  I want to enjoy Him fully…and right now, that means laying everything aside to rest in who HE is.  It’s unknown territory for me!  I am a huge planner and love direction and focus and spend much time thinking about the future.  But, right now, God is asking me to press into Him daily without seeking the future or setting my heart on anything but Him.  I am already feeling much JOY returning to my soul.
(Originally written 7 NOV 2011):

Beautiful African Sunset

“Africa, Hot, Hot Africa”…..these words were the first three words to a poem I wrote when I was 9 years old.  Africa was always on my mind growing up.  For no apparent reason!  I hadn’t been there.  I didn’t know anyone who lived there.  I was in LOVE with Africa.  I would sing songs about it.  I would write poems about it.  I wanted to GO there as a young child.

When I was a teenager, I decided I was going to go to the Congo to take care of the gorrillas there.  After reading Diane Fossey’s book about the Congo and the plight of the Gorillas, I was determined to go continue her work and save them…..

When I was in my senior year, my DREAM came true.  My sweet parents found out about an opportunity with the Army to move to South Africa for my dad to attend the war college there.  He took the opportunity.  They came to me to ask me what I wanted to do, sensitive to my desires as a senior in high school.  They tried to figure out any sort of scenario they could for me to stay where we were in Skaneateles, NY or to go live with my grandma in North Carolina and finish school in the states with her…or go with them halfway through my senior year to South Africa.  There was NO hesitation on my part!  They smiled of course because I think they knew what I would choose 🙂  They made my dreams come true and GOD fulfilled a longing growing in my heart.

My time in Africa was AMAZING.  I left Africa, very sadly, and my parents, to go to college at the United States Military Academy (which was a really neat opportunity too!).  Ever since I left….Africa has never left my mind.  I have prayed the desire away…because it didn’t seem practical.  What would I do?  Once I met my husband, I sort of put Africa out of my mind even further.  BUT….it never goes away.  My husband doesn’t feel the same way I do about Africa (yet 😉 ) and is not quite sure where he fits in the whole picture.  So, I thought maybe it best to forget about it for a little while again. BUT, I cannot forget!  I cannot pray it away!  My prayer has been that if it is not from the Lord, that He take it away.  The desire STILL grows in my heart.  This is one of the things for which I am longing.  Last night, as I prayed about it once again…God gave me a partial glimpse of the future and where Brian may fit in the whole picture.  I told Brian last night that I think I may know where he fits…it was about 1130pm and he was drifting off to sleep…so he said, “uh huh.”  …God has BIG plans for him there!  I just know it!  Right now…he is thinking maybe a war lord….(:-) ).  For those of you who don’t know my husband…he is a leader and a warrior.  I cannot wait to see God’s plan for us in Africa.

I felt it in my heart to start thinking about Africa once again.  AND to write about it.  It is time.  Perhaps just around the bend God will SHOW us our calling.  We are praying.  We are seeking.  Show us glimpses of your plan Lord!  Would you pray along with us? As for RIGHT now, God has put in our life an amazing family who are to be missionaries to Africa.  Everywhere I go, we meet people from Africa, who love Africa, or with African babies.  It gets ridiculous sometimes!  I find so much in common with them.  We are so excited to see God’s plan unfold for this family, to see Africa through their eyes, and to wait upon His calling for our family as well. To be continued…..

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