I wrote this following page on my blog awhile back and God has brought my heart back to it quite a few times lately…but this time, He’s asked me to lay it down to rest–indefinitely, I don’t know, only He does…but I know it is for my good and that His plan is perfect. I think the desire will always be there, but I know this dream is fully released to His hands now and safely held and that He is fully attentive to it and that it is well attended to. Knowing it is in God’s hands…and not mine, puts my heart to rest. There is no particular reason why I feel I must lay it to rest…but the prompting of His spirit to lay it to rest and give it to Him. I feel much peace and joy in this…still unsure of what the future brings, but content that my future, as well, is in His hands. Everything is really, but it’s just a matter of what I am willing to acknowledge is His and what I strive to hold on to.
(Originally written Christmas 2011):
When I was a very little girl, I think around 8, I was talking to my parents about adoption. I declared to them that I was going to adopt a Japanese baby. At least this is what they told me once upon a time and I vaguely remember the specific conversation! BUT, what I do remember is that for as long as I can even remember, I have wanted to adopt. First, it was a Japanese baby, then a Chinese baby, and then when we went to Korea, I was sure it would be a Korean baby! Apparently, it must be an Asian baby. I could barely leave Korea without taking a little Korean baby with us. It was very strange timing for us, because the desire peaked when I was pregnant with our little girl, Hannah. I was delivering in a Korean hospital and I saw Korean babies everywhere. They thought my baby was adorable (and so did I of course!), but I thought their babies were irresistable too! As I got onto the plane to leave Korea (about 1 year ago), I wondered if we would be back. I wondered if we would ever have that little Asian baby. However, it simply was not the right timing for us. And it still is not! Again, this is another thing I am longing for right now. I am praying for clarity and God’s specific calling for our family concerning adoption. We know we are to support orphans, widows, the poor, and suffering. There are many ways to support! And God moves our hearts in all sorts of beautiful ways. But, not everyone is called to adopt (and that is ok!). God calls. We answer. It is about HIS calling…and has very little to do with us. The question for our family is a question of calling. Is this our calling? There are many reasons God puts things on our hearts and they don’t always look like we think.
We are submitting to the Lord’s plan for our family concerning adoption. We have surrendered the desire and it is in HIS hands and HIS timing. It may be a call to support orphans–financially, with our time, with our love (visiting orphanages), with all sorts of resources…even just supporting other families who have/are adopting–through meals, prayers, support, understanding, etc. There are so many ways to fulfill the call to take care of orphans! I am wondering if our family is one in which the Lord will choose to adopt an orphan (or several!) into our home. The desire is there. We are praying for unity, clarity, preparation of our hearts (I cannot even imagine how hard it will be and totally life changing), support, and absolute certainty. He will show us our child. He will pick him/her out for us. He will prepare our hearts specifically for this child. And He will tell us: IT IS TIME. For now, we will surrender, pray, and wait.
There are so many reasons I want to adopt…BUT, the greatest reason is because I am SO thankful to be adopted into the family of God, through Jesus Christ, His Son (who was also adopted by Joseph and Mary into his earthly family!), and thankful for the amazing love that He has poured out into my life. I want to pour that love out on a little orphan. I love children. God has given me a big heart for them. I want God’s love to flow through us to let this child know the DEPTH of His love for him/her. And I think our family would be perfect for it!
God is sovereign. He knows what we can handle. His plan for our life is MUCH better than we could ever imagine. He may have a plan for us to adopt. He may not. But, HIS plan is PERFECT and BIG and we cannot wait to see what HE has planned for us! Living within His will for our lives will bring perfect peace. He knows our hearts. He knows our desires. He put the Godly ones there and if He so chooses, He will bring them into fruition. Praise be to Him, the Perfect Father in Heaven! He is the Father of all orphans–of all His children!
Below are some verses in the Word that have spoken so powerfully to me. Verses for us to pray over and to be thankful for. Verses that tug at my heart every day and call out to my Spirit. May we answer whatever calling He has for our lives. God will call every member of our family. There will be perfect unity, timing, and peace and He will set before us His plan. We cannot wait to see what it is!
“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear;
but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ;
if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.”
Romans 8:15-17 (KJV)
“Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name,
he gave the right to become children of God”
John 1:12 (NIV)
“Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit,
groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons,
the redemption of our bodies”
Romans 8:23 (NIV)
“Theirs is the adoption as sons; theirs the divine glory,
the covenants, the receiving of the law,
the temple worship and the promises.”
Romans 9:4 (NIV)
“He predestined us to be adopted as his sons
through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—”
Ephesians 1:5 (NIV)
“To redeem them that were under the law,
that we might receive the adoption of sons.”
Galatians 4:5 (KJV)