Romans 12:12: “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.”
As I was reading a book to Lewis the other night…I call it our “lighthouse book”…in it was this verse…it had a profound meaning to me in that moment. If our circumstances lead us, often we’ll be tossed on the waves of uncertainty and an emotional roller coaster, but rarely will we find that PEACE that comes from God this way. I wanted to choose differently, but my flesh was fighting my spirit.
“Please help this verse become a reality for me right now, Lord,” I prayed. I knew it was these characteristics that were lacking in my heart, the main cause of my struggle for that day…I couldn’t change my heart…but God could.
I want to share these words with you, because they came so powerfully into my heart…and I knew they weren’t from me: “When you think wrong thoughts about God, your spirit is automatically dampered, even destroyed…you begin to despair.” You see, our hearts were made to think RIGHT things about God, and when we do that, shalom is present. Everything is as it should be. When we don’t, our hearts begin to fail and turn to other things/thoughts/ways to help us cope, which always leads to sin..fracture…despair.
Sweet prayer from friends, confession on my part, and repentance…turning 180 degrees the other way…helped my heart think right thoughts about WHO HE IS, WHAT HE CAN DO, and WHO I AM TO HIM.
My body went into preliminary labor last Monday with Emma…and continued on a bit (just not as severe) for the rest of this week…but it seems this is normal for many women…just new to me 🙂 I’m so thankful for the sweet friends who have cheerfully and peacefully assured me from their experiences–past and present. My heart is resting peacefully once again in Him. His timing IS perfect and we are excited to discover His appointed time. He told me at 7 months, when He spoke to me softly about her birth, to NOT waver in faith…my faith is continually tested…but HE IS FAITHFUL and He will make me faithful as well.