“You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because He trusts in You.” -Isaiah 26:3
I love this verse! So much has happened over the past year. Really, the past 2 years. Let me tell you the story….
It all started with my pregnancy with Hannah. I learned for the first time to really trust God during my pregnancy with sweet Hannah. Lewis came 7 weeks early, and I was AFRAID to be pregnant again. Soon, my fears were realized when I bled until 16 weeks with her and was on bed rest for 5 weeks. I was alone and didn’t have any help (we were in a foreign country!). God beckoned me to trust Him. And this time I really had no choice! I trusted Him…and He provided in incredible ways. We were delivering in a Korean hospital and it was a leap of faith. The first doctor told me the pregnancy was no good…for several visits…but, we had prayed for Hannah and she came swiftly into our lives….we knew she was MEANT to be! We even had someone tell us that we might have better luck next time. BUT, we trusted God (and switched doctors!!!). The next doctor was filled with hope and even had similar pregnancy difficulties as mine. Also, our interpreter was AMAZING! After one visit and no improvement in my condition, the doctor told me I would be admitted because she felt it was impossible for me to stay on bed rest with my husband traveling and gone quite a bit and no help (he was in very demanding position at the time). She told me I needed to find someone to watch Lewis for several days or even weeks! I had never been gone from Lewis overnight…and didn’t have any friends who could do that at a drop of a dime (they all had kids too!). So, I did the only thing I could think of–I called my husband! He wasn’t able to answer his phone….so then I did the only other thing I could think of…I prayed. Shortly after, our interpreter came to me and told me her mom LOVED children and was willing to come to our house that evening and stay with me for a FULL WEEK! Wow. What a fun experience and TRUE blessing from the Lord. I will forever remain thankful to both of them and the Lord for that! Shortly after the bleeding stopped, I had a uterine band, that if fully developed, could limit the growth of our unborn baby. She could be completely deformed. We prayed. It did not close and Hannah continued to grow! God was continually saying to me (in very real and painful ways): TRUST ME, I WILL NOT FORSAKE YOU. God led me to start a women’s bible study, although I was only at first willing to commit until I was 33 weeks pregnant…because that was when Lewis came out…and I had to be prepared, right? God showed me my lack of faith in His promise to us for a full term baby. So, I consented to ending the study at 37 weeks…I wanted to make sure God was on the same page as we are as to what consists of a full term pregnancy! Hannah became transverse in my belly and refused to turn (no matter how much I tried with those exercises!). A week after the study ended, I went to a sweet baby shower planned by the ladies in my study and right after I got home, I started to go into labor. She came out by c-section after 24 hours of preliminary labor, but God blessed every moment of the stay at the hospital and we were so thankful. She came out healthy and at 38 1/2 weeks!!!
During my pregnancy with Hannah (we named her Hannah because we truly felt she was God’s “favored grace” to us), I learned to trust God…while confined in my bed (for the most part 😉 ). Throughout the rest of my pregnancy with her, God allowed me to pray over other people for all sorts of things. I saw God perform all sorts of miracles. I saw Him heal people on the spot. I saw a beautiful woman accept Christ into her heart. I saw hearts change and prayers answered. It was AMAZING!!!! It was so spiritually rich. I had never prayed like that before. I had never had that kind of faith. But, I knew if God did that for me…He would do it for other people as well. Hannah will always be a reminder to me of how MUCH my faith changed in the Lord. I trusted Him with her. She is HIS child. I am so excited for every second He gives me to parent her. Her joy, love, super-cuteness ;-), beauty, peace, patience, and grace amaze me and bring me to tears often. I cannot believe God has given her to me. What a joy. What a gift.
Tomorrow, God is calling me once again to trust Him with Hannah. He has been calling me her whole life to trust Him with her! The pregnancy with her was just the beginning. After 6-8 months of colick, endless sleepless nights, developmental delays, and a lymphoma scare…I am learning to give her to Him each and every step of the way. This silly cyst that cause the lymphoma scare is going to be surgically removed tomorrow. We are happy to have it out at last! We will be glad to have that final biopsy to rule out anything scary. I know as we make the trip (early) tomorrow morning, Hannah is in our blessed Controller’s hands. We are praying specifically for her and are wondering what the Lord’s plan is in all of this. I know He will reveal to us what He wants us to know and it will be enough. And I know she is in the best hands…the hands of an intimately loving Creator. Another opportunity to trust. I will trust Him moment-by-moment as those tempting thoughts come to make me anxious. They will not linger. We can already see Him providing every step of the way, leading up to the surgery. God is a POWERFUL and MIGHTY God, so worthy of ALL our trust. My prayer is for an even greater trust of Him in every area of my life. Amen.