I read a book called the Excellent wife when Brian and I first were engaged. I wanted so much to be a good wife to him. But, I feared, I had MUCH to learn! I read so many books about being a good wife…but, I still had so much trouble with it. Finally, I decided to put the books down and start applying the concepts! This was tough work. I was still trying in my own strength I think.
The past two years, God has done some major work in my heart to be a better wife. Parenting seems to come easier to me (most of the time!). But, being a good wife takes a lot more thinking and deliberation..and not because I don’t have an awesome husband! I just have so much to learn!!! God has always put great examples of marriage near us as Brian and I move around the world together. Between the books and marriage examples, I’ve treasured many things in my heart. Recently, though, as I learn to discern the Holy Spirit and His ways, I am learning to lean on HIM for guidance as to what to do in each and every situation. There are so many different scenarios that no one rule (or set of rules) will apply. It takes, like most things in life, a lot of wisdom and discernment from the Lord. There has been so much conviction in my heart…and there is so much left I am sure! I want to learn to love my sweet husband as God would have me love him. One of the ways that God showed me, starting in Korea, was to have unconditional respect for him, as a man would seek to have unconditional love for his wife. This comes from the verse that a man should love his wife and a woman respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33). God showed me that I am to respect him regardless of what he says or does simply because He says so (and that my expectations are in HIM). This is His desire for me as a wife. I am starting to understand more about this and I am eager to become more of what God wants me to be as a wife. I am eager to love Him more and I know that as I do, His love will pour out of me to my husband first, and then to my children. First focus on my relationship with Him, then all the rest fall in place.