Prayer is on my mind ALL the time!!! God puts things on my heart and on my mind oftentimes…and then I try to think about what He could be up to 🙂 Sometimes, that gets me in trouble when I try to draw conclusions about what He is up to….but I am learning to ‘ponder these things and treasure them in my heart’ like Jesus’ mother, Mary did. I am going to just take note of them and wait for God to tell me when to move. Sometimes, it is right away. Other times, the Lord lets things sit on my heart for awhile and then shows me when to act. This duty station has been a place mostly of waiting and testing. And I am learning what to do during this season of my life. I am actually starting to enjoy it!
It is so ironic that God has put a fire in my heart for prayer right now…and for the past 2 years. My 3 year old son told me a few days ago that he does not like to pray. It is a mostly recent thing for him, but it is getting worse and worse. I’ve been noticing over time his disinterest in prayer. I like to pray all the time and he does not like to pray at all. He does not like to wait for things either and I think praying to him means waiting to do the next thing that he really wants to do. It also is very formal and intangible to him. He is a concrete thinker. Most kids probably are! I’ve been feeling kind of sad about Lewis not wanting to pray…BUT, the Lord redirected my heart and calmed my fears. He showed me that prayer CANNOT be forced. God never forces us to love or talk to him. He does not force relationship. He showed me to just pray next to Lewis and let him do whatever he would like to do. BUT, he has to be quiet while I pray. I pray for him and with him and as long as he is quiet, he can do whatever he wishes in my vicinity. ALSO, I have been praying my heart out for a prayerful heart for my little boy! This morning, as Lewis was eating breakfast, he informed me that he likes to pray to Jesus. Brian and I turned and said, “oh really?” I said “Jesus loves to talk to you however you want to talk to him. He just wants to talk.” Lewis said “I don’t like to pray like that.” We couldn’t really understand what “that” meant, but we are sure he is opposed to a particular way of praying. Lewis will come up with his own special way of praying to Jesus. Whatever way it is, we are really excited for him to find ANY way that HE likes to pray and to talk to the lover of his soul, Jesus Christ.
Perhaps God has put prayer on my heart so powerfully for my family. My husband is also getting a fire in his heart for prayer, and we have always struggled to find that time to pray together consistently with the two littles and his Army schedule (and field schedule), BUT, we are committing to finding that time each week to pray together—even if it isn’t every morning or night–we want to find something consistent and sustainable for our family. My husband will be my prayer partner and my little boy is learning that he has a friend and father and teacher that he can talk to anytime he wants. And anyhow he wants….I am sure Jesus will understand and be DELIGHTED in my creative little 3 year old’s way of praying…and DESIRE to pray and have a relationship with Him.
All I can say is wow. God amazes me every single day. He answers my prayers in ways I can not fathom. He is so big and so awesome. There is nothing He cannot handle. Anytime something happens with my family, something I don’t understand or bothersome or totally out of my sphere of influence (which many things are!), I just pray and watch a miracle happen over time. I am watching that miracle happen with the members of my family right now. I am learning to be a praying mommy and wife and these are my greatest miracles right now. I am seeing powerful answers to prayer in each of them. Amen!