Failure…

Much of what is happening in my life right now is meeting with much failure.  I’m thankful for the perseverance God has given me to press on. My focus is on having joy in obedience.  My delight is in His law.  My thanks is in my sweet family right now who all really fill me up.  I couldn’t walk this season without my wonderful husband.  I couldn’t feel so blessed without looking into my sweet kids eyes and be satisfied to the depths of my soul with their squeals of excitement and never ending joy and love of life.

I am yearning for our calling as a family.  Everything we are doing right now is simply not the right fit.  For any of us.  Waiting is so hard when there is so much pain.  I am truly learning the meaning of a holy joy.  And to be GROUNDED in Him.  And how to wait without falling apart.  There have been so many tears.  The Lord knows the plans He has for me–to prosper me and not harm me!  I delight in doing His will.  My strength and courage come from Him, not myself and I am so proud to be an ambassador to Him.   Occasionally, I SEE fruit and purpose in where He has us right now.  But, I am going to walk by faith and not by sight during this season.  Sowing seeds is so painful right now.  Obedience isn’t coming easy.  But, with it, ALWAYS comes JOY.  I love that.  I’ve also learned the importance of SPEAKING God’s word out loud and proclaiming it against any other forces of darkness out there.  It is sharper than a double edged sword!  Nothing can defeat it!  If I have prayed…and I don’t feel a change…if I have read…and I don’t feel a change…then I shall PROCLAIM God’s Word out loud and walk forth in confidence…in faith in HIM…not me.

I am just getting over another sickness that landed me in the ER twice in one week, and yet another race cancelled because of sickness 😦 , but I am getting better and this is what I read today:

“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.  But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night.  He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not witherWhatever he does prospers….For the Lord watches over the ways of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.” -Psalm 1

I know where my delight comes from.  I know there will be fruit in season…and that I will not wither, but He will make me prosperous.  My hope is in HIM.

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