The Lord has gently impressed upon my heart different levels of maturity in faith. He takes us on the next level when He feels we are ready. Our hearts have to be willing and ready. He never forces us. I love that. Our love is a gift to Him. And that is what He truly wants. I feel like I am about at the level of a toddler spiritually! I think I am past the infant spiritual milk. The constant needing of miracles…immediate answers to prayer…to be told how much He loves me…making demands, getting frustrated when He does things I don’t like or understand…etc I WANT to be past this! Sometimes, perhaps I return…but mostly I am in the toddler spiritual phase of distraction. He distracts me oftentimes from the things I really want…by giving me glimpses of hope here and there…but holding out on fulfilling them in their entirety. Granted, I always have the hope of my salvation, but I get my heart set on other things…Godly things…that He doesn’t have planned just yet for us. He is teaching me the discipline of waiting…and the discipline of the mind. I am so thankful. But, it isn’t easy. I WANT to be ready to move on to the next level. I am wondering though….what does the teenage spiritual phase look like? Yikes!
To give a tangible example of my level of faith compared to where He wants me…the other day, I woke up feeling a bit unloved…I don’t know how this is possible to start out a morning like that after sleeping all night, but perhaps I had a few bad dreams..I don’t know! I prayed that the Lord show me His love for me that day…wondering what He would have planned for me to show His extravagant love to me….feeling warmer already…BUT, God showed me…indeed…I am ready to move on to a more mature level of faith. I heard on a radio broadcast that morning, upon entering my car to make our rounds for that day around post, a pastor, telling his audience: “Why do we ask God to show us how much He loves us? It is CLEAR how much He loves us; He showed us by having His only son die for our sins so we can spend eternity with Him in heaven, He shows us over and over in His Word, He displays His love for us in His creation everyday, He shows us His love for us all the time….the real question is not How much He loves us, but, How much do we love Him?” Ouch. So true. I snapped out of it that day and set about being confident in His love for me and seeking to show Him my love for Him…through all the different ways I can show Him my sincere love.