We watched a sermon from our church lately and it was very convicting. It talked about ownership. It talked about prayer. It talked about Preparing. It talked about Persevering. These are all the things that Queen Esther did in the book of Esther. There was a tipping point and she had to make a very tough choice. There were some convicting words from her cousin, then there was the tipping choice and she decided to OWN it. To Pray about it (and have others pray and fast for and with her and her servants for DELIVERANCE of her people). To prepare (the banquets). And to Persevere (she made the tough choice and it changed the course of history).
We have made a choice recently to homeschool our son for this next year (and hopefully, beyond that 🙂 ). We owned the responsibility God was pressing on our hearts, we are praying and having other people pray (will you pray for us too?), we are starting to prepare :-), and by God’s grace, we are going to persevere. It will be our trial year for preschool, before the official homeschooling records start at kindergarten. I was feeling the burden…but oftentimes, over the past year, I wondered if it would be possible or if I would get over my head in it. We have been homeschooling him lightly the past year and sending him to school two days a week for 3 hours each. It was a wonderful break. I needed that. I was having too many days of not feeling refreshed and encouraged. It was a great decision and we have seen SO much transformation in him with interacting with other kids. But, I felt the Lord telling me that now it is time. I kept wondering, would I get to the same place of feeling too overwhelmed with him that I did last year? Would I be capable of doing it? My husband and I prayed together about it. And in the course of the 3 days after we prayed, about 5 people came up to me offering help and resources! I didn’t mention anything to his teacher about it at school, and one day recently, she asked me if I had considered homeschooling my son. She said “he is way too advanced to do this class next year,” (and the other options around post weren’t feasible either for us at this point) and she highly encouraged me to homeschool him, telling me that she also desired to do that with her son, but that she wasn’t able to at that point, and that my son would be the perfect candidate for it. After several other people telling me they would partner with me, help me, support me, and even his own teacher encouraging me….we made the decision to do it.
I am stepping out in faith, trusting God for a community of people to support, help, and encourage me…and partner with me! I am trusting God to equip me and help me understand how to teach my son in the way he needs to learn. It is a big undertaking. When my son was a baby, my husband and I decided we would homeschool him. Between the ages of 2 and 3 1/2, I had some serious doubts as to my abilities to do that! Now, we are seeing God answer our prayers for discernment as to whether we would be able to undertake the task of homeschooling our children. As my husband said, “one child at a time…one step at a time!” It will take a LOT of perseverance and encouragement and equipping…especially in the moments of great need. I know God will fully equip me in every way. He is showing us that. And we are pressing forward, unwavering in this decision…one child at a time!