The past few days have been a time to reflect. My morning sickness has been more severe this week and yesterday it was at its worst. The kids have also been sick continuously, with different sicknesses, since we arrived. We watched the Lord Heal, and watched them get sick again for about 8 weeks straight now. As I spent time with the Lord, I felt him tell me His nature is to Bless. This is what He does…continuously. It is my part to receive these blessings with a grateful heart. I had to ponder this one! It hit me hard. Did I feel blessed as I laid down sick once again and stuck inside for several days, trying my best to help Brian and my sick kids? Not coincidentally, each time I get really sick, Brian is home 🙂 I began to count my blessings. My mind went to the surface immediately….my sweet husband and his wonderful service and dedication to our family, my lovely kids, my home, yummy food, family, friends, sweet nursery care givers for the kids, a means to work out….and more sweet blessings He has given…I tried so hard to be truly thankful…
This morning, I went to church with Lewis and Brian stayed at home with Hannah. God spoke clearly and directly to my heart. “My greatest gift to you, My greatest show of my Love for you–is what I gave to you on the cross…I gave you my son. You are worth the price I paid–the blood of my son, Jesus. You have incredible blessings through this ultimate gift: You are CHOSEN, ADOPTED, REDEEMED, SEALED, and have a great INHERITANCE…all in Jesus.” WOW. I realized…I don’t fully understand the weight of all I have in Jesus…the weight AND WORTH. If I understood the depth of all these gifts and could see them play out in my every day life much more, I would feel so continuously blessed…no matter WHAT happens. And I wouldn’t look to the surface any more to count my blessings. I’ve known all this before…but my circumstance and the blessings I instinctively recounted in the midst of my circumstance, showed me that my heart didn’t fully understand all that the Lord has done for me. I am left with a deep sense of thankfulness. And my mind is shifted. I hope to understand more and more the full extent of what the Lord has done for me. However,
This song was played and rang true to my soul:
“I’ll never know, how much it cost to see my sin upon the cross….Here I am to worship, Here I am to bow down, Here I am to say that you’re my God.” (Here I am to Worship)
I’ll never fully understand how much it cost Him…and my only response can be….to WORSHIP HIM and proclaim HIM as my God and King.