I love Spring. I love going on nature walks with my kiddies…even if it does take an hour to walk just a few meters down the road… 🙂
I love seeing the budding beauties around me–little blossoms sprouting from the ground and trees, they are everywhere now with our warmer weather. I cherish pointing them out to my children’s delight. We get so excited about seeing life begin. We love seeing, hearing, and feeling God’s creation all around us. Lewis picks up each and every “monkey ball” and pine cone and puts them in his helmet, giving them as gifts to people we pass on the sidewalk. Hannah picks up walking sticks, rocks, worms, and dandelions. We come back with quite the collection, much of which mommy ends up holding so their little hands can touch and experience more! Seeing all this never grows old. I loved feeling the Lord’s embrace upon me as I walked with Him and my children down the lane in front of our home.
In the same exciting way, but deeper, more subtly, I see the Lord’s spirit blossoming in my children…and they are becoming little budding beauties this spring. So much in them is changing, sprouting, blossoming. Last night, as I lay on my bed, I prayed that I might know them more, because they are changing too quickly for me to keep up!
The past week was hard for Hannah. She is learning so much. There were so many tears and many, “I’m not nice” phrases coming from her mouth. She has great fervor and such a beautiful little smile and spirit. She’s testing boundaries right now, and trying to figure out her world, communicate her emotions that she barely understands, and test the depth of love we have for her. She often resorts to less pleasant ways of communicating right now. But, I even love the sound of her yelling…it is still soft and beautiful, no matter how hard she tries to raise her voice. She takes much initiative in learning…she is making great progress in potty training, often reminding herself to go potty. Today, she pulled down her panties and went right in the grass on our walk before I had time to do anything! It has caught me by surprise, because it was such a tough, long road with my Lew…I am pleasantly surprised at her initiative and will to conquer that potty! She does the same thing with her letters, numbers, shapes, and putting on/pulling off her clothes. I am so thankful she’s coming into her own right before Emma comes along. She’s my independent little one. But, at times, I wonder how to connect? I am learning to connect with her in different ways than with Lewis. We’ve always cuddled, read, sang songs, said sweet things to each other, and loved on each other in a variety of ways, but the other week, she had such a tough time, I was really seeking the Lord in how to fill her up and help her know how deeply she is loved. She was often saying she wasn’t loved and she wasn’t nice. I sought the Lord and did my best to show her His grace and love, but wondered if it was enough for her little heart to be full. But, I knew deep inside that my love was simply not enough. Last weekend, she was incredibly joyful and her graceful little self. Daddy said she sang him a song in the stroller on his walk with her until she fell asleep. She loved on buddy, showed him grace, played his silly little games 😉 , listened so well to mommy, and filled us all up with smiles all weekend long. I thought about what was different in her little world those days to make such a difference in her countenance. Yesterday, as we were driving in the car, she said with a big smile, grinning wide with those beautiful little teeth, “Jesus loves me so much.” She said it over and over, absolutely convinced with all her being of His love for her. My heart was full of joy knowing that at age 2 1/2, she can know so well the love of Jesus. I am so thankful His love is enough! This little girl is making leaps and bounds in so many areas and has had so much happen in her little life so far. She’s moved twice in her 2 years of life, and might move again in less than year. She’s having a little sister come along and is SO excited to be a big sister. Often, she tells me that Emma is in HER belly 🙂 We had a game the other day of “who’s belly is Emma in?”. Lewis said it was his, Hannah said it was hers, and I just looked down at my belly, very definitely round and showing now 🙂 I know her life is going to change more and more in the next few years, but as everything changes around her, I will know to pray His love and constance over her.
Lewis is 4 1/2 now and amazes us every day. He loves relationship, is a wonderful protector, and loves to help to provide for all of us. The other day, we were at a birthday party and people were commenting on how polite and mature he was. He has an incredible love for his sister–he loves to be with her, teach her, love her, and has great grace over her. He has a deep and extravagant love for the Lord and loves to learn about Him. He often says profound spiritual things to us. He really gets it…sometimes, a lot more than we do! His love of life and joy are amazing to me. He often is smiling, giggling, singing, and dancing for the Lord. He LOVES learning and doing school, loves the rain, loves playing with kids (calling everyone his friend), loves doing experiments, building, cooking, is an amazing helper to me, and loves to love on mommy in so many ways. He is so sweet and tender with me, loves to give me gifts and tell me sweet things, and loves to be with me all the time. When he was little, this constant need to be with me was really hard for me, but now I see this as such an incredible blessing to have a son who really loves me so deeply. He wants 10 brothers and sisters he says, but alas, after this pregnancy, I had to tell him that these 10 little ones might just have to be his! 😉 He has a beautiful daddy’s heart already as he tells me often he cannot wait to get married and have his own kids. I think he makes for a perfect big brother to Hannah and Emma and I love his heart for relationship. We are so very proud of who this little boy is and LOVE his heart.
I see these little hearts blossoming in His fruit each day…learning and soaking up so much. I am learning so much too….as God is maturing me….and I love learning with my “purple people,” as I heard a PWOC speaker say the other day–in family, in love, with those who know and love me so dearly.
Walking in Faith 