This big boy is learning so many important life…and flying skills right now! He’s almost ready to take off. We can feel it! He is going through a major transition right now. Inwardly, he is fighting this step. I am struggling to understand what he is going through. He is longing for more independence…but there are so many little stumbling blocks in his path. He doesn’t like conquering these blocks, but it is time…and mommy is ready now to help him take off. His teacher told me 2 weeks ago, “the little airplane is ready to take off now…but there is one thing holding him back.” I thought to myself…”perhaps himself?” And she continued, “his mommy.” Ouch!
There have been so many tears, defiance, resistance and so much struggle to every step of independence…and it has tugged on my heart often to push him forward because it has been so painful. The other day, the consistent defiance broke into tears. My prayers were answered and the wall was broken at last.
Lewis has always loved us helping him. And it is my natural instinct to want to do that for him, but I am learning to fight that instinct, knowing what is best for him now. I’ve wanted him to move forward more, but haven’t had the energy and patience lately to go down that road to help him take those steps to more independence. It does pain me a little to see my little one really growing up, but I am ready 🙂 The Lord equipped me with a lot of helpful tips from his teacher that have really worked wonders even in the past 2 weeks for him :-). We spent several weeks reading stories and doing activities to foster independence, and looking through baby books together to see all the ways he’s grown up since he was a baby. We used natural boundaries and consequences and held the line firmly. Brian and I huddled together to decide our absolutes and discussed the things we could let go during this time of resistance. He’s spending more independent (not mommy- directed) time outdoors–when we are not still getting sleet and freezing rain (!), playing with kids his age and older kids (our sweet neighbor girl told Lewis the other day, “Lewis you are part of our clan now 🙂 “–he has such a desire to connect with other kids and his face was beaming!–they have 3 kids, are an amazing family that also home-schools, and their children are a delight and so sweet to my kids). He’s getting more time apart from sissy, and is growing into his own self now.
Lewis has been in preschool for a month now and his teacher was cued into the long, intense tantrums at school. She assessed him to be a bit far behind the other kids in a few areas that are really hard for him and met with me to discuss them. He’s very determined to do things his way and loves to be in charge. Despite the struggle with certain areas, Lewis and I have LOVED spending such sweet time together and learning together this year in homeschooling. These are memories I shall always cherish. It was totally worth it. We persevered and finished up the year last week. That last week was really hard though as we tackled the areas in which he’s not as strong. The more we try to work with him in the harder areas though, the more he resists. The Lord has provided a STRONG, firm, determined heart in his teacher and 30 years of experience! I am so thankful for her. She’s willing to go the mile with him. He has these tough phases every now and then, but when he comes out of them, he has the most beautiful little spirit!!! We are seeing the fruit of that spirit already the past few days and can tell the major steps he’s taken to persevere and become more independent.
God is giving me a stronger heart and helping me weather the storms of the tough phases, followed by the beautiful phases. My love for Lewis is deeper and more consistent than it ever has been. Our parenting is more refined with each tough phase 🙂 Our relationship with Lew is being redefined now. He is making these big steps to independence and we must continue to hold the line 🙂 We are so proud of his brave heart to move forward, despite his frustrations and fears. I think we are going to love this redefinition as he grows and we must grow and change with him. It is a happy redefinition for all of us.
And this little airplane is getting ready to take off on the tarmac now!!!
Walking in Faith 