I love names and I have come to love the name of the Lord. Jehovah is his name…but I love to think about all the other names He has, as they are so comforting to me.
A little update on us–
I know I don’t write nearly as much as I used to…and it is not because there isn’t as much to write…because there simply is a lot to write about! I suppose I feel as though my fingers and thoughts don’t give Jehovah enough justice during this season of life. My heart is in a different place…still a recovering phase. Not confused. Not angry. Just kind of listless I think. I know God has great plans for the kids and I, I do not doubt that generally, although one never knows what God has in mind! I hope my plans line up with His. I pray each night my faith be re-filled and overflowing that I can see God in everything and believe Him for an abundant life. My life does look different than I had imagined and that leaves me listless for now. But not lifeless!
My kids and the sweet things they say, God’s magnificent creation, beautiful moments God gives me and the never-ending opportunity to see God work is what brings me joy right now.
On my birthday this past weekend, my two wishes were to spend time with my son, just Lewis and I, (and we did this by running the Marine Mudd Run at Ft Gordon, low crawling through tons of mud and flailing ourselves over obstacles to finish a one mile course–It was fun is all I have to say; I truly love that stuff! —But, as I stare at my scraped up body, I wonder why I thought that was so fun! Oh, but I’d do it again in a flash 🙂 ), and to have my girls attempt making a cake for me by themselves. I was so pleasantly surprised, fully expecting the girls to make a huge mess of the kitchen, when they made a wonderful cake, with little to no mess, and iced it for me! Ok, so I did have to tell them they cannot ice it with their fingers!! But, once we got some butter knives to ice, the cake looked like a masterpiece! Once we baked it and tried it, oh, was it delicious. The best part was that it was gluten free and Lewis could join us with a nice big slice of cake. I took it to Lewis’ best friend’s house and we had a bbq and had a slow cooked pork that I had cut up, perfectly steamed broccoli, red potato mashed potatoes (with the skin, just how I like it), corn, and a glass of wine. I don’t normally drink, so this was extra special to celebrate with them and then they broke out in a chorus and sang for me, and it was a night to remember. Lewis got to sleep the night over their house, which was fun for him, and I got to close the night out cuddling my girls to sleep. I really don’t think it could have been sweeter. God is good, and always in the details of life. I love that. I love telling the kids stories about how God is continually faithful. I love that I can write down and remember everything here on this blog.
I really cannot believe I am 36 years old! Realizing my age has me thinking about other goals I have for my life and things I want to do with the kids. I think the most pressing need I feel right now is to prepare to buy a home! Whether this year or next, it will all happen in God’s timing, I am excited to establish a long-term residence for my family. I am overjoyed that God may give me a heritage to pass down to my kids. My Christian faith is the greatest heritage I can pass down to them, but I long for a physical one to bestow as well. A place for them to make memories even into high school. A place for them to really call home. A place for them to return to in adulthood and a place eventually for one of them to inherit and with which to bless the other siblings. I am searching, thinking, praying, and calculating and I think I know now just what I am looking for! It’s funny the dreams that age brings…each decade I think has brought me new ideas, passions, desires, pursuits. I love how God designed our lifetimes and the different seasons we live through. Each one of them are blessed as we live through them with God.
This decade has been one of gaining my 3rd child, losing a husband, and gaining confidence through a deployment and track to get several jobs to support my family. I can do more than I thought I could do! And I actually enjoy the pursuit of learning and doing all of this. We have a beautiful apartment here and I am content to stay as long as we need to. Hopefully, just one more year. But, gaining a home will be a huge step, a major change in our lives, and a welcome one. I know it will bring more projects, more learning, and more freedom for the kids. I will save as much as I can and I know it will be exciting.
So back to the name Jehovah. This past year, I have had the opportunity to witness to several sweet neighbors and friends I have made while living here at my apartment complex. I have had the greatest opportunity to witness to Muslims and Hindus. It is the first time I have really endeavored deeply into the conversation of Christ with these religions and it can be hard. My friendship is already deep and I am grateful for that. I love these people and I know God does too. It is interesting that the name Jehovah can be a stumbling block to people who call and believe in a different God with a different name. It is especially hard for me to hear occasionally that all Gods are the same. I explain that Jehovah is a very distinct God and He is a jealous God! The only way to the Father is through Jesus Christ. It is true. It is undeniable. But, man is it hard to convince people who are so set in their ways. There are many different reasons people cannot or do not want to believe. I have the same experience many prophets, Christians, before me have had…the frustration that comes with people not accepting God, and therefore not receiving salvation for their souls. Oh, the pain my heart feels knowing they do not know Him and do not trust Him as their Savior. As I seek the Lord, He tells me, He feels my pain. I can release the pain into His hands and continue to trust and pray and know in God’s timing, hopefully, they will come. Some hearts are particularly stubborn. It is good to reject what is wrong and to have a strong heart….but when right comes knocking on the door, the door needs to recognize what is right and let it come in the door!
I rest in the fact that Christ’s power to save is strong enough and every soul that needs to be saved will. So much of it is beyond my understanding. But, not God’s.
It is Jehovah I have come to know. It is Jehovah I praise. It is Jehovah I share. It is Jehovah I adore. I pray I only grow stronger in my faith and my witness.
As I continue to teach English lessons, private swim lessons, lifeguarding, and possibly a cycle (spin) class through the summer, I pray, I share through my actions, my witness to Christ, as that is even more important than words.
Jehovah I pray all souls who will know you come to salvation now…for it is the time of salvation. Amen.